Open letter to Lord Braven from the MVK Board

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July 12, 2017 at 1:27 pm  •  Posted in Alternative Lifestyles, BDSM, Fetish, General, In The News, Polyamory, Swinging by  •  0 Comments

Copied from https://www.facebook.com/groups/6949777007/permalink/10155458993592008/ with permission.

Open letter to Lord Braven from the MVK Board

Braven,

You’ve been an active member of the Vancouver BDSM community for many years. Many of us have been in your home, or engaged with you at parties. MVK has rented space in your home to host classes. But in light of recent allegations, and particularly your response to them, MVK is terminating its professional relationship with you.

Why?

When recent allegations were raised, MVK and other community organizations tried to work with you to address them. Although the original posting contained unsubstantiated claims, in the aftermath, many people came forward with claims that are substantiated, including first person accounts of consent violations, outing, and other serious complaints. Some of these complaints are known to you. Some people choose to remain anonymous, and we respect their wishes.

When confronted with consent violations, you have denied knowledge of the violations, denied being informed of the violation and refused to accept any accountability. You have continued to demonstrate a serious pattern of denial, with no apparent desire or ability to accept any accountability for your own actions. Because of this pattern, MVK will not work with you or recommend you in any professional capacity.

Why an open letter?

Different organizations operate in different ways. We choose to write an open letter for three reasons:

• Due to the severity of the situation, we want to explain our decision-making process to the community to which we are accountable.
• Our concerns about your behavior are serious enough that we cannot in good conscience keep them secret.
• We believe that transparency is the best way to prevent harmful rumors from spreading.

The allegations are serious, credible, and numerous

We have heard numerous reports of problems. Rather than a comprehensive list, we will give representative examples of the allegations. Each of these anonymous sources have been known to us for years and have a history of service in the kink community. We have carefully interviewed them and consider their stories to be credible. In each case, the allegation that you haven’t seen is similar to but more serious than the one you have seen.

• By your own admission, you outed a former partner as kinky to her family, and broadcast her personal and health information to your email list.
• By your own admission, you invited a minor into your home for a BDSM-related discussion. This put every adult in the space at legal risk and violated each of their consent.
• It is alleged that you negotiated for non-sexual service but pushed for oral sex once the person was in a service headspace.
• It is alleged that your mentoring has perpetuated abusive behaviour by teaching abusive behaviour to your mentorees.
• It is alleged that you are running a script on Fetlife to target young women who are new to kink (or collecting this information by some other means that produces the same results) – reaching out to them at their most vulnerable in order to perpetuate the cycle of “fresh meat” through your doors.
• Individuals, particularly inexperienced young women, are being abused at the parties by both yourself and other attendees.

These are serious violations which represent more than simple misunderstanding or miscommunication.

Your responses have been evasive

Members of the community have asked you both in public and in private to address these concerns. Your responses have not been transparent and have not answered the concerns.

Any path to Restorative Justice (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Restorative_justice) requires that all parties recognize the issues, admit the problems, and work toward change. We have not seen that in your responses to date. We have seen you make administrative changes to the way you run your parties, but these changes – in particular collecting and holding information on attendees – raise more concerns than they answer because of your history of outing.

What happens now?

MVK is not the kink police, we are a community non-for-profit organization. It is not our place to stop anyone from playing a your home, or with you. But:

• We will not present you or your home as safe for the community;
• We will not rent space in your home;
• We will not allow you to promote your events in our forums;
• We will not allow you to volunteer or teach with us; and
• When asked about you and your events, we will refer people to this letter.

We remain open to Restorative Justice in the future if you decide you’re ready to address and fix the pattern. It’s not enough to look at individual items. We’ve seen and shown you that there is a pattern, and it’s that pattern that must be changed.

We urge you to do the hard work of understanding what went wrong, making it right, and ensuring that the pattern of behaviour changes.

Regards,
The board of MVK

 


Posted to ensure that people in and entering the Vancouver BDSM/Fetish/Kink community have access to as much relevant information as possible.

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